RANSVESTIA
"And yet you spent the day in them. But I'm tired of this. Did you fix anything for dinner?"
"What do you expect? I was looking for my clothes."
"Well go fix something. I'm tired."
I put some vegetables on to heat and some chops to fry, and wondered what to do. It was a strange situation with which I had to cope - dismay that she knew so much, embarrassment that she could be telling me to cook dinner or put on a slip, and a marvelous joy that for a day or two I could wear a dress. I wanted nothing so much as to go to the bedroom and put on the lingerie that was waiting there.
To hell with it! Why, when she was to blame, was I afraid to do what I wanted? If she hadn't wanted to face the situation, she shouldn't have forced me into it. It was her fault that I had to wear the dress. It was her fault that I had to wear the other things as well. I fixed another drink a big one and took it in. She was watching television and
scarcely noticed me.
A gush of enthusiasm washed over me as I put on the lingerie she had bought. I toyed even with putting on some lipstick, but chickened out. Maybe she'd make me do it. I hoped.
"I hope you're satisfied," I said, serving dinner.
"Oh, I am," she retorted. "I've got the prettiest husband in Manhattan. What more could I want?"
It was too bad, really, that neither of us could accept my pleasure in women's clothing without making a big issue of it. With the apart- ment to myself, I could unselfconsciously enjoy the moments that made their appearance like meteors in the sky when I'd catch the curve of my dress as it stretched across my bosom, or feel the slickness of my panties beneath my skirt. It was a subtle, momentary pleasure, a spark of realization that now Sally and I had sensations that we could legitimately share, not in our usual complementary roles, but in true sharing. I felt good, in a way a fire feels good in autumn - snug, safe, and at ease with the world. I hoped Sally knew that. I hoped that she knew how pleasant it was to be able to wear what I pleased, and to for the first time ever be free of the fear of her return, to look forward to it, even. I felt good, so good that I did all the household chores she
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